A Rant of a Man in Spiritual Warfare

Man … people can really steal your self-worth.

 A dude like me?  Who came from where I come from? The things I’ve put myself through? Everyday I wake up and feel like I’m nothing.  I don’t know what I would do if God didn’t tell me everyday, “Devin, you are worth everything to Me”.

Please people: be cautious in your actions and how you treat someone.

You don’t know how the enemy torments a person everyday; it could be using you, regret, mistakes, or previous bad choices to afflict them.  Trust me, the enemy has been beating on me for awhile now, and they are relentless and nonstop in their pursuit.  They don’t take a break!  Some days I wonder how they can even be attacking other people with all the effort they use on me. I keep standing up and the enemy keeps knocking me down, saying, “just stay there at the bottom”.

Honestly?  Those demons got me convinced I should lay on the bottom.

 Constant situations holding me to my past; seems best to just lay down and stay there.  At least on the bottom, they will quit attacking me. Hell, they have been whipping me so good, I’m starting to wonder why I was even getting up to begin with.

Somehow, I thought seeking Christ would be easier.  When I was at the bottom with the enemy, it was way easier and no where near as painful.  Tell me how the Apostle Paul, after his past of watching Stephen being killed, persecuting Jesus’ people … how did he keep going on his journey for Christ? How did he pursue God while the devil tormented him with that kind of ammo from his past? Constantly attacking God’s grace and mercy, assaulting the freedom God had given him from that past.

Forget that!  I’m getting up; there is no reward at the finish line with the devil, but the prize at the finish line God has for me:


Devil? I’m up.  Keep it coming.  I will suffer this temporary punishment for that permanent destination. 

God as my witness, your desire to defeat me and take what God has reserved for me is no where near as strong as my desire to obtain it. 

Oh yeah.  Devil?  Hurry it up, because my Bible says you are on borrowed time.

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV)